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I Didn't Trip, Honest | Sidestep

First thing in the morning and I'm accosted with 'get up you miserable wretch' and 'you're no better than an animal'.

And certain persons wonder why I have self-confidence issues.

As for good news, I have been graciously granted the chance of redeeming myself in the area of grades due to my usually too prone to rambling mouth; Mr. Stockholm offered me an opportunity to raise my grade up by re-doing all of my journal entries for his Engineering class, probably half because he likes me and the other half being that I'm usually a really good student and keep up with everything except I slipped up the last couple of weeks because of my dual Art projects and yeah.

I love my teachers so much. ♥

So, this year my sister and I didn't go to Winterfest; my parents[?] decided that it wasn't as good and educational as they thought it'd be which was the reason they'd let us go last year [this was agreed upon by several parties, among which were my youth leaders who said the quality was crumbling year by year and others] and so we were detained. Not that we [sister & I] really cared or complained about. She didn't care much for it, either, same as I, and I was also further reminded of how I didn't sleep for the x number of days we were gone--and if I did, it was an hour- that I actually did--as well as how I didn't eat anything but pure sugar [and those were sporadic, and very short-lived because we only made two stops at Gatlinburg]. There also might've been that thing where I was given an energy drink on top of my sugar intake by Mr. Chris [who did so mostly unwittingly] and terrorized the rest of the youth group, who are almost all older than me, with various different methods.

I still don't remember the incident Felicity claims had happened, but I'm willing to take her word for it, since I don't remember most of what happened anyway, if at all, around that period of time. Honestly, ranting for however long I'd did at a godforsaken hour without reason or listening to the other party [Felicity] isn't all that very shocking, given my tendency to be able to completely spazz out when a situation calls for it.

Phillip and Nathan went this time, though, as I found out from Ms. Vernice when we went to visit her earlier today. She's recently gone through surgery and is thus not supposed to move around and 'take it easy' so she doesn't get stressed, so we hadn't seen her in a while and ended up taking dinner and a card and a present for her as a 'get well soon' gift. She liked it, and we talked for a bit because she was lonely since she's almost never left alone on her own without someone else around. Like her sons.

Saw Fuzzy today, too; didn't get to say bye, because it was at a restaurant, but I gave him a hug anyway. I really need to work on those journal entries. And go to bed. Can't forget that.

I want to dream again; the ability to do so went away at approximately the time I started losing sleep and going to bed at two-something-ish and waking up at four because of stuff, which would amount to maybe three or four weeks ago. I can't do anything without inspiration, and I am clearly suffering from the lack of the above like that[those] time[s] before that I reeally don't want to relive again and crap I'm gonna stop that right there before I make it worse.

Except now it is, and I know it, and all I have to blame is myself and not listening and going to be like a good little girl should have.


Father's coming back home Monday; Grandmother [mother's side] is leaving on Monday. I don't know whether I'm glad or sad and it's pathetic of me and I don't know if I'm going to laugh or cry. Maybe a bit of both, with a nice helping of hysteria on the side because it makes everything taste just a bit more flavorful.

No, I am not attempting to shirk my duties, the aforementioned being replying to logs and the like for the roleplays I'm in which I can't actually really fulfill because my writing's died and Ai won't listen and she's probably disgusted and laughing at me right now, at me and my pitiful state.

awet;ljkwtewhy did you leave me? ;-;